I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
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you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
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I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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