The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just want to make out with him forever
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
