Kareoke will never be a sober sport
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I deserve this hangover.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
