I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
We need to rekindle our bromance
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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