its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize