Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Found the puke drawer
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
