I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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