ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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