only if we run a train.
done.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize