I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
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I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
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The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.