uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.