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Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
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