...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.