walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Randomize
