dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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