I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
