is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
