I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome