I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.