Texts From Last Night

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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's

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  (989): Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's http://tfl.nu/0ar1
  Replies (5) Good night (942) Bad night (405) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.

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  (614): There is a man walking 2 goats through the city. (614): Bonus: only one of them was on a leash. http://tfl.nu/ht0h
  Replies (27) Good night (3354) Bad night (424)
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  (124): View more from

  Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.

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  (124): Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all. http://tfl.nu/q25u
  Replies (107) Good night (31478) Bad night (1286)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....

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  (847): he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad? (952): You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him.... http://tfl.nu/ht91
  Replies (37) Good night (1982) Bad night (7830)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her

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  (407): we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her http://tfl.nu/n8un
  Replies (10) Good night (4680) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"

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  (954): I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!" http://tfl.nu/pxgz
  Replies (9) Good night (2629) Bad night (1092) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.

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  (310): We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened. http://tfl.nu/spf0
  Replies (4) Good night (3288) Bad night (681) Order T-Shirt
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  (831): View more from California

  maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick

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  (831): maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick http://tfl.nu/1wa4
  Replies (3) Good night (589) Bad night (1308) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?

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  (402): I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do? http://tfl.nu/fl2n
  Replies (5) Good night (719) Bad night (963) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?

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  (310): Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow? http://tfl.nu/9403
  Replies (5) Good night (1503) Bad night (403) Order T-Shirt
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.

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  (218): My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery. http://tfl.nu/81gc
  Replies (8) Good night (1066) Bad night (334) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.

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  (302): Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike. http://tfl.nu/7q3x
  Replies (2) Good night (905) Bad night (426) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT

  (1-585): View more from New York

  Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.

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  (585): we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT (1-585): Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink. http://tfl.nu/wawv
  Replies (3) Good night (697) Bad night (167)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?

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  (702): Would I waste your time for mediocre porn? http://tfl.nu/88ga
  Replies (2) Good night (514) Bad night (160) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.

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  (541): If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him. http://tfl.nu/336d
  Replies (9) Good night (529) Bad night (624)

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