My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.