Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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