remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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