I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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