i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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