I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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