I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
