just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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