the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
