hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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