I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
