apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
