Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
