Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm both gender and math confused
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
