Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
