i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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