Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
3pm strippers are depressing
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
