ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
