Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
