I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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