I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
