So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Is it because I queefed?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
