take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
