Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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