Do vagina's smell?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
