I bet he comes in French.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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