thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
