after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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