I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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