At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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