you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
