I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
