just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
