my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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