i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
