Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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