Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
