We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
4 words: hood of his car
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
