ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
