We named our party play list daddy issues
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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