So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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