I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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