I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize