so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
